Kural Chronicles

KURAL 53

ARATHUPAAL

ILLARAVIYAL

ADHIKARAM 6: VAAZHKAI THUNAINALAM – MERITS OF A GOOD LIFE PARTNER

இல்லதென் இல்லவள் மாண்பானால் உள்ளதென்
இல்லவள் மாணாக் கடை?

Illathen Illaval Maanbaanaal ullathen

Illaval maanaak kadai

If his wife is virtuous and righteous, what does a man not possess? If she is not, how much ever wealth he may have, what does he possess?

Illathen: illathu + en – illathu means not possess, en means what;  Illaval: wife or lady of the house; illam means house;  Maanbu: greatness, in this sense virtuous;  ullathen: what is there;  maanaakkadai: not virtuous

The sixth adhikaaram Vaazhkai thunainalam literally means the good qualities of a life partner. The life partner here, however, alludes to the wife alone. Valluvar dedicates ten kurals to the qualities a wife should have for the smooth running of a home.

Women today may have a beef with that but in a staunchly patriarchal society, thousands of years ago, Valluvar has written about the prevailing custom. It may be argued that his famous vision could have extended to this topic as well, but let’s face it – we are, till today, a patriarchal society. We are only now slowly debating the concept where, of the husband and wife, whoever is better suited to look after the home should do so. By and large, women in lucrative careers are plenty but they are saddled with the responsibility of taking care of their homes as well. The day where both husband and wife share equal chores and responsibilities at home willingly, is still far off.

Coming to Kural 53, Valluvar categorically states that the greatest wealth a man can possess is a good wife. If the wife is virtuous, gentle, kind, loving, frugal and supportive, what more does the lucky husband need? He may not be rich but peace and happiness will abide in his humble home.

Conversely, when a man has an abundance of material wealth but the lady of the house is arrogant and uncaring, it will remain a house. It will not be a home. The cliched ‘I bought a soft down mattress but I couldn’t buy sleep’ will become true.

Be it the husband or the wife, what Valluvar stresses on here is the importance of love and bonding; adjustment and understanding in a home. Material wealth is necessary but only secondary.